flat stories

i don't think about anything else, i don't talk about anything else, i don't do anything else but looking for a new flat. i've got everybody around me tired, mad, bored, terrified about calling, running around, talking to nice and not so nice people. it's insane.

and it's getting even more so insane as i didn't expect it to take so long to find a new flat. i'm looking for the simplest things, and yet they're nowehere to be found. whenever a nice flat is up on the advertising websites, the landlord/their agent doesn't pick up, wants to charge me a ridiculous amount of money, or is just a moronic little nazi, who doesn't even want to hear about renting the flat to a non-speaker-of-hungarian-stupid-foreigner.

so i developed an undercover strategy. i'm sending them all sms in hungarian translated with google translate. most of the advertisers spot me anyway, and reply in english, with 'milyen nyelven beszel?', 'honnan jott?', or just never reply. in most of the cases, they never reply.

but that's okay still, because some of them do reply or call me back after all. to date, i have sent 54 sms to 54 different phone numbers, not counting the replies to replies to replies and emails. so i think i'm doing well, or at least i reached the level of amusement, having overcome that of stress and frustration.

i believe there are nice people out there trying their own luck with google translate.

"sorry flat was issued"
"hello ana our meeting is not more current"
"call me the hungarian translaitor person and talk a details! by csaba"
"i am lake balaton until sunday call me monday am 9 oclock"

part of my undercover strategy is also reading between the lines. as there are nice people and not so nice people, you have to try to figure it all out even before contacting them. nice people don't write dry, parametrical descriptions of their flats. they add some inside info like "if you like the city, but also like to rest, this is the perfect choice for you". dry, parametrical descriptions of flats belong to agents. they're business people so it makes sense. in a way, because catchy lines should theoretically attract more calls, but whatever. the not so nice people use caps lock and exclamation signs. lots of them and as often as possible. they tend to turn their ads into a list of restrictions rather than an attempt at describing their flat. no dogs, no cats, no other possible pets, no single people, no people with babies, no girls, no boys, no students, no parties, no smoking. it's depressing.

but most of all, my strategy is inclusive. i have asked a bunch of friends to become call operators, exposing them to these people's own stories and problems and reasons they couldn't reply to my sms.

"i've broken my leg yesterday, but i'll get my son to show you around. my son speaks english"
"we're out of town until saturday, but we have a nice neighbour to open the door for you"
"i'm renovating this flat for a while now, trust me i'm really fed up with the whole thing"
"actually the flat belongs to my sister, but she's working in the u.s. now, you know"

mom said i would find something good this week and i trust her.